The Power of Self-Talk to Encourage

Friday, December 30, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Support Through Rough Patches

If Will Durant's statement summarizing several of Aristotle's teachings is true, then the notion that self-talk is a powerful shaping force in our life is also true. Capable of building you up or tearing you down, your internal dialogue is casting a mold for the individual you are becoming.

In my recent article, Encouraging Your Children, I addressed the power of verbal encouragement for our kiddos. Of equal importance is the quality of the uplifting discourse we receive from others and that which we hold within our own selves.

"We are what we repeatedly do." Into what manner of an individual is your internal dialogue shaping you? Do you find it easy to slip into a negative, discouraging type of conversation with yourself, especially if the mid-winter blues have kicked in?  What does it take to excise the negative tongue and replace it with uplifting maxims?

I have dedicated resources to which I turn on a daily basis, to ensure my personal dialogue (that which occurs in my head) imparts courage, life, and truth. I surround myself with these citations, I read them regularly, and I am intentional to refute the negative that inevitably creeps in with my arsenal of  constructive words. My personal favorite source is the Bible. I also turn to quotations and passages others have written. 

What are the sources you turn to when life is weighty, you've contracted a case of grumpiness, or you've become like a snapping turtle? I challenge you to create or expand your personal source list. It is my hope that the ideas that follow become a springboard for your own inventory of inspiration, that they grow into your meditation, and nurture habits of excellence in your life, eventually spilling over into the lives of others and causing a magnificent ripple effect!

"If you don't pay attention to what has your attention, it may take more of your attention than it deserves." David Allen

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” ~Alexander Graham Bell

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”~Helen Keller

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” ~Helen Keller

Addressing the January Blues

Friday, December 30, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Support Through Rough Patches

Encouragement is the act of giving someone support, confidence, or hope. When we encourage another, we are either trying to stimulate the development of an activity, state, or belief, or we may be trying to persuade another person to do or to continue something.

There are numerous reasons why we may find ourselves desiring or needing any of these forms of encouragement at some point. January is well known as the most depressing month of the year. Why? Some perceive a let down after a festive holiday season. Others are receiving credit card statements and the painful reality of impending payments is weighty. Still others (research shows up to 20%) are  affected emotionally because of the physiological effects of the cold, dark, and often dreary weather that is synonymous with the first month of the year. Add these realities to an already heavy sense of regular responsibilities and one can truly experience a heavy case of the blues.

How can one move out of this condition? Often it helps to evaluate how you usually feel in mid-January. If you know you typically struggle with low mood in January, plan ahead for yourself, for how you will wisely practice self-care. Are the blues you are experiencing abnormal for you? Applying the same measures will help you, too. 

How are you feeling right now?  Are you feeling strong and optimistic, or are you sliding into melancholy or worse, gloom? Are feelings of overwhelm sabotaging your motivation? Try a few of these ideas to help yourself out of the pit of sadness that often accompanies the 31 days of darkness called January. Be sure, however, to contact your health care provider if your feelings of depression are ongoing or if you have ideations of self-harm.

1. If you are experiencing a "SAD January", be determined to be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion. Reduce responsibilities that may be adding to the doldrums. Is there one thing you do not like to do from which you can take a break for this month only?

2. Be intentional to give yourself positive affirmations. Various scientific studies suggest that positive self-affirmation practices can be beneficial in many ways. Saying positive affirmations activates the reward circuits in your brain much the same way eating a favorite food or winning a prize does. The Neuroscience of How Affirmations Help Your Mental Health

3. Go to the light. Your light might be a vacation to a warm sunny climate. It may also look like daily basking in the light of a "happy light" to enhance your mood, energy, sleep and focus. If using a happy light, begin in early September. It takes some time for the pineal gland to ramp up its production of melatonin, helping you feel more chipper.

4. Try something new. Plan and prepare a new dinner recipe. Sign up for painting or another type of creative class. Take the kids swimming once a week and swim with them. Go to bed earlier and give yourself an extra hour of sleep each night.

5. Clean out one room (or part of a room) each week. Reducing the clutter that accumulates can help you feel much better.

6. Plan three or four low budget, minimal planning required, special family activities: movie and popcorn at home, board-game night, reading an exciting story out loud on certain nights of the week.

7. Practice laughing daily. Laugh with your kids. Tell each other hearty jokes. Listen to an enriching comedian together. Say, "Alexa, tell me a good joke!"

8. Practice daily gratitude habits. Focusing on gratitude as a habit will lift one's mood on a more permanent basis. Write five things daily for which you are grateful. Mindfully note the good that comes from otherwise difficult circumstances. Do you have generally good health for which you are thankful?

9. Be vigilant to make time for daily exercise, optimally outside during the sunniest parts of the day. Even if completed indoors, daily exercise releases at least four different hormones that contribute to overall feelings of well-being and energy.

Reach out to your friends. Chances are they may be struggling with a blue January, too. What can you do to encourage them? No pity parties or griping sessions are allowed. Simply support one another by recognizing together the reality that January is hard right now, but in 31 days it will be over and you both will be feeling better as February and March roll around.

My New Adventure

Wednesday, December 21, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Dyslexia Support

I am thrilled to share that I am headed back to school!

For years my heart has ached for kids who struggle to acquire knowledge and academic skills because of neurological conditions affecting that process.

With great excitement, I have enrolled in the Dyslexia Training Institute Certification Program and begin classes in early January. It has been a few decades since I have been the student!

In May, when I have completed the training program, I will be equipped to provide specialized instruction and remediation for children and adults who have dyslexia. I am delighted to have access to this training and soon be able to accept students who need these services. Dyslexia creates a cascade of effects for the affected individuals and their families. The prospect of providing support for these folks excites me!

Stay tuned--I will be sharing nuggets from my own learning with you along the way so that we can more thoroughly understand dyslexia together.

IEW TWSS Writing Classes

Wednesday, December 21, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Class Highlight

Parents will ask me, "What is a class session of IEW TWSS like?"

Simply put, TWSS curriculum is a gentle, engaging curriculum that adds simple formulas to the process of writing. The formulas address appropriate structures for different writing purposes along with elements of style that create an engaging written end product. Every skill is practiced in each subsequent piece, providing ample experience to guide a writer from the novice level to more advanced over the scope of the curriculum.

Since students write a short composition every week, we always take time at the beginning of class to read our essays aloud for each other. An element of writing motivation is added to the composition process when one knows that they will be sharing their writing with their classmates. Their thoughts and effort are given a voice! Students also share "Roses & Thorns" about their writing experience, thus practicing self-reflection, evaluation, the celebration of successes and acknowledgment of skills that need more work. Students also experience the encouraging and constructive input from their peers, fostering a supportive, non-threatening group atmosphere.

A new skill is introduced each week. We practice the new skill as a group, then sometimes we practice that skill in the form of a revision on a piece of our own previous writing, ending with opportunities to share with the group what we discovered. Although lessons are primarily focused on the process of writing, elements of grammar, vocabulary, and literature are woven into our practice and conversations, assisting the students in their understand that ultimately, all academic skills are be blended together in various ways.

Finally, students have time to begin their new writing lesson, leaving class with a sense of accomplishment. When students begin the assignment in class, they also have the opportunity to test their own understanding and ask questions that ultimately benefit the entire group.

If your student has been studying IEW Level A on their own and you believe they would benefit from joining one of our groups, we are welcoming new classmates! Reach out to me so we can coordinate how to make the change as stress-free as possible for your young writer!