Documented Benefits of Providing Positive Affirmations to Children

Friday, December 30, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Support Through Rough Patches

"Research shows us that thoughts have a direct impact on emotions and feelings. Those emotions trigger a corresponding release of chemicals in your brain.  Using positive affirmations may allow students to harness and manipulate the release of chemicals that will serve them in constructive ways." Kristin Tulsian Recognizing the facts presented in this research, parents are wise to cultivate the habit of offering their children regular doses of positive affirmations.

Using brain imaging techniques, researchers specifically identified three main psychological reasons for impact on emotions and feelings.  First, contemplation on things that we value brings personal joy. Secondly, feelings perceived as threatening are moderated by reminders of the attributes of self that are valued. Lastly, as affirmations grow our sense of self-worth, our emotional regulation is also enhanced.

Growth in emotional intelligence and academic performance are also linked to providing positive affirmations to children. Anytime we are prompted from an outside source to draw our attention to something, our reticular activating system grows our natural self-awareness to those same things. Self-awareness never increases in a vacuum, however. In tandem with the cultivation of self-awareness, personal reflection and evaluation also flourish, both of which are building blocks in the development of a positive thought life and self-talk. If these outcomes aren't already beneficial enough, "self-affirmations, also called values-based affirmations, [were] also shown to improve academic performance, narrow the achievement gap, and improve grades." (Tulisan)

The benefit of values-based affirmations doesn't end with measurable gains in emotional and academic intelligence. "Research from a team led by Carnegie Mellon University's David Creswell found that people can boost their ability to solve problems under pressure by using self-affirmation. [T]he first evidence that self-affirmation — the process of identifying and focusing on one's most important values — [self-affirmation] can protect against the damaging effects of stress on problem-solving performance." Benefits of Self-Affirmation - Carnegie Mellon University In short, you can protect your child from the negative effects of stress on problem-solving and reverse the effects of stress on make-or-break auditions, test taking, or their other performance examinations. By focusing on those personal values that are important to them, a student can also learn to neutralize the adverse effects of the stress they feel leading up to and during these types of stressful situations.

Providing positive affirmations to your children on a consistent and frequent basis is a pattern you will never regret. This custom only produces positive outcomes. Affirmations facilitate positive emotional growth. They cultivate the personal habits of self-reflection and all the benefits therein. Your child will experience enhanced academic growth and reduced stress effects which typically accompany stressful examinations and evaluations. You will encounter increased joy knowing you are providing an aspect of intentional, first-rate parenting for your child.

The Power of Self-Talk to Encourage

Friday, December 30, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Support Through Rough Patches

If Will Durant's statement summarizing several of Aristotle's teachings is true, then the notion that self-talk is a powerful shaping force in our life is also true. Capable of building you up or tearing you down, your internal dialogue is casting a mold for the individual you are becoming.

In my recent article, Encouraging Your Children, I addressed the power of verbal encouragement for our kiddos. Of equal importance is the quality of the uplifting discourse we receive from others and that which we hold within our own selves.

"We are what we repeatedly do." Into what manner of an individual is your internal dialogue shaping you? Do you find it easy to slip into a negative, discouraging type of conversation with yourself, especially if the mid-winter blues have kicked in?  What does it take to excise the negative tongue and replace it with uplifting maxims?

I have dedicated resources to which I turn on a daily basis, to ensure my personal dialogue (that which occurs in my head) imparts courage, life, and truth. I surround myself with these citations, I read them regularly, and I am intentional to refute the negative that inevitably creeps in with my arsenal of  constructive words. My personal favorite source is the Bible. I also turn to quotations and passages others have written. 

What are the sources you turn to when life is weighty, you've contracted a case of grumpiness, or you've become like a snapping turtle? I challenge you to create or expand your personal source list. It is my hope that the ideas that follow become a springboard for your own inventory of inspiration, that they grow into your meditation, and nurture habits of excellence in your life, eventually spilling over into the lives of others and causing a magnificent ripple effect!

"If you don't pay attention to what has your attention, it may take more of your attention than it deserves." David Allen

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” ~Alexander Graham Bell

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”~Helen Keller

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” ~Helen Keller

Addressing the January Blues

Friday, December 30, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Support Through Rough Patches

Encouragement is the act of giving someone support, confidence, or hope. When we encourage another, we are either trying to stimulate the development of an activity, state, or belief, or we may be trying to persuade another person to do or to continue something.

There are numerous reasons why we may find ourselves desiring or needing any of these forms of encouragement at some point. January is well known as the most depressing month of the year. Why? Some perceive a let down after a festive holiday season. Others are receiving credit card statements and the painful reality of impending payments is weighty. Still others (research shows up to 20%) are  affected emotionally because of the physiological effects of the cold, dark, and often dreary weather that is synonymous with the first month of the year. Add these realities to an already heavy sense of regular responsibilities and one can truly experience a heavy case of the blues.

How can one move out of this condition? Often it helps to evaluate how you usually feel in mid-January. If you know you typically struggle with low mood in January, plan ahead for yourself, for how you will wisely practice self-care. Are the blues you are experiencing abnormal for you? Applying the same measures will help you, too. 

How are you feeling right now?  Are you feeling strong and optimistic, or are you sliding into melancholy or worse, gloom? Are feelings of overwhelm sabotaging your motivation? Try a few of these ideas to help yourself out of the pit of sadness that often accompanies the 31 days of darkness called January. Be sure, however, to contact your health care provider if your feelings of depression are ongoing or if you have ideations of self-harm.

1. If you are experiencing a "SAD January", be determined to be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion. Reduce responsibilities that may be adding to the doldrums. Is there one thing you do not like to do from which you can take a break for this month only?

2. Be intentional to give yourself positive affirmations. Various scientific studies suggest that positive self-affirmation practices can be beneficial in many ways. Saying positive affirmations activates the reward circuits in your brain much the same way eating a favorite food or winning a prize does. The Neuroscience of How Affirmations Help Your Mental Health

3. Go to the light. Your light might be a vacation to a warm sunny climate. It may also look like daily basking in the light of a "happy light" to enhance your mood, energy, sleep and focus. If using a happy light, begin in early September. It takes some time for the pineal gland to ramp up its production of melatonin, helping you feel more chipper.

4. Try something new. Plan and prepare a new dinner recipe. Sign up for painting or another type of creative class. Take the kids swimming once a week and swim with them. Go to bed earlier and give yourself an extra hour of sleep each night.

5. Clean out one room (or part of a room) each week. Reducing the clutter that accumulates can help you feel much better.

6. Plan three or four low budget, minimal planning required, special family activities: movie and popcorn at home, board-game night, reading an exciting story out loud on certain nights of the week.

7. Practice laughing daily. Laugh with your kids. Tell each other hearty jokes. Listen to an enriching comedian together. Say, "Alexa, tell me a good joke!"

8. Practice daily gratitude habits. Focusing on gratitude as a habit will lift one's mood on a more permanent basis. Write five things daily for which you are grateful. Mindfully note the good that comes from otherwise difficult circumstances. Do you have generally good health for which you are thankful?

9. Be vigilant to make time for daily exercise, optimally outside during the sunniest parts of the day. Even if completed indoors, daily exercise releases at least four different hormones that contribute to overall feelings of well-being and energy.

Reach out to your friends. Chances are they may be struggling with a blue January, too. What can you do to encourage them? No pity parties or griping sessions are allowed. Simply support one another by recognizing together the reality that January is hard right now, but in 31 days it will be over and you both will be feeling better as February and March roll around.

My New Adventure

Wednesday, December 21, 2022 by Catherine Gilliland | Dyslexia Support

I am thrilled to share that I am headed back to school!

For years my heart has ached for kids who struggle to acquire knowledge and academic skills because of neurological conditions affecting that process.

With great excitement, I have enrolled in the Dyslexia Training Institute Certification Program and begin classes in early January. It has been a few decades since I have been the student!

In May, when I have completed the training program, I will be equipped to provide specialized instruction and remediation for children and adults who have dyslexia. I am delighted to have access to this training and soon be able to accept students who need these services. Dyslexia creates a cascade of effects for the affected individuals and their families. The prospect of providing support for these folks excites me!

Stay tuned--I will be sharing nuggets from my own learning with you along the way so that we can more thoroughly understand dyslexia together.